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Naked Before You

I have nothing to hide behind - I am naked before you
You now know me in the deepest way possible
You know everything - this is not what I wanted
I did not want to share this much with you - to give so much of myself
I did not want to love you so deeply - to feel so much
I tried so hard to hide my very being from you
I showed you what I was not
You tore way at my facade until there was nothing left
I wanted to hide from you all my deepest feelings, my secrets, my desires,
my wishes, my fears and my heart
You made me give it all away
I cannot hide anymore
I feel so vulnerable because now you can see just how to hurt me

old blogs from my space

Stupid People

Stupid people drive me crazy. I'm not the smartest person in the world by any means but some people are just plain dumb.

I work in the fast food industry (hence forth the not so bright part) and I absolutely hate and love stupid people who come through drive through.

My all time favourite stupid people are those who order their food...pay for it and drive off with out it. I go to hand out the bag and they are whizzing on by without a thought in their pretty little heads. Some how in the 10 feet from the payment window to the pick up window they have forgotten where they are and what exactly they are doing in a fast food drive thru. They usually come back inside to the till red faced and say I was just through drive thru - and before they get another word in - being the extreme professional that I am I say don't worry we've been waiting for you and give them their food. Then they come up with some excuse like it's been a long hard day. I usually just smile and say nothing else because they know I've already made fun of them and will continue to do so after they are gone.

I hate people who don't know how to order. I usually screw them over if they are really stupid. Most people should know what a meal or a combo is right? You get a burger, fry and drink. If you don't know it's explained on the menu board. Fast food prices are always set up so a combo is cheaper then ordering all the items separately. People will come through and order a burger. I ask them if it's a combo. They say no and then proceed to order a fry and a drink. If it's not to late to change it I will...if it is to late they pay anywhere from one to two dollars extra for ordering everything separately per combo because we have limits on how much we can delete and change on our tills before higher management gets upset (they keep track of that stuff). I've had people order up to six combos seperately and because they have already insisted they don't want or need a combo I've cheated them out of like ten dollars all for their stupidity. I've had people literally insist that I can't give them a combo when they've obviously ordered one and it's cheaper. They say "no I know what a combo is and I don't want one". Is there a conspiracy theory about getting combos? You don't want me to give you the better price???? I've even tried punching in the combo to give them the better price and they say to take it off because they don't want the combo. Hello! earth to stupid one!!! And don't dare try to tell them they've ordered a combo because then you are just pissing them off.

I hate people who don't know what they want to drink. I ask "what would you like to drink?" Long pause... I ask "a coke?" They go "ummm...no.." long pause. "Okay I'll take a coke?" Is it really that hard to decide? Or even better are the people who have to think really long and hard about whether they want ketchup or not? Either you like it or you don't.

I hate people who try to order through a small crack in their window when it's cold. Seriously your voice does not carry through that small crack unless you yell really loud.

I hate passengers who try to order. There should be a class about how to order in drive thru. Remember you are speaking into a microphone and last time I checked microphones only pick up when you speak at it and not the voice of someone five feet away. I also love the people who lean over the driver to order. Is it really that hard to give your order to the driver and have them speak???? sorry I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

I hate people who have to read the entire menu board for five minutes before they order. Can't you see the line up behind you?? If you don't know what you want come inside please. I then get a whole bunch of customers inside who wanted to go through drive thru who are bitching about the lady (this could be a man as well) who is still reading the menu board.

I could go on about this forever but I won't anymore at least for today.

Did you realize?

Did you realize

When I told you that I love you and would forever that I would always be with you no matter what happened did you realize that every word I said was a lie?
We could not be together because of how I am and what you are?
Did you realize that I could never live with a person like you?
Why did you believe when I told you forever?
Why did you hang on when there was no hope?
Did you think a few precious moments were better than nothing at all?
Why did you stay when you realized that you wold have your heart trampled on?
That I would break you?
Was it worth it?

Dream worlds

Dream Worlds

Time to run away again - leave everything behind
All the hurt and hate
I slide into worlds that I can make my own
Worlds that I control - the rules are all mine
I always get what I want
My teeth aren't so crooked
If something doesn't go quite right I can replay it until it does

Maybe I should wake up
Do something real
But it feels too good

Last night I became famous
That was just a dream - or was it?
I don't know what's real anymore
I don't know how to get back
Or maybe I don't want to come back

Soul mates?

There are many people who believe that there is only one true love for them, their soul mate, with whom they are destined to be with. They keep looking for that perfect person - the idea they have in their head of how their person should look and behave. I believe that many people have the potential to be you soul mate or as I would prefer to call them a life mate. I think that by being to specific in your demands of a mate sets you up for failure. Maybe you are just making excuses for why you are alone. You say to yourself I'm alone because I haven't found that handsome guy with blond hair, perfect teeth and abs of steel. I won't settle for anything less then that image of a perfect mate I have in my head. Any little short coming is good enough reason to not date some one. I can't date so and so because he doesn't have blond, black , or red hair or I can't date him because he isn't a Liberal or he is too skinny or too fat. When you end up old and alone don't blame anyone but yourself because you are the one who passed up all the opportunities you had because they weren't the person you had imagined you would be with. It's all right to be less than perfect and to be with someone who is less than perfect.

Weird Dreams.

I have a lot of weird dreams and sometimes I've had dreams that come true. This dream was just strange. I dreamed that I was at a small intimate concert for Celine Dion. It was a small bar that had nice decor - more like a coffee house then a bar actually. There was baskets with a complimentary Celine Dion compact discs on each table. She came onto a small stage that was in front of a small video screen that had her image on it and started singing. Her image on the screen was also singing. One of my co-workers was sitting beside me and for some reason she found the whole thing hilarious and couldn't stop laughing hysterically. Celine stopped the show and asked her what was so funny and then got so insulted that she left the stage because that just made my friend laugh even harder. Then a riot started - people started beating the crap out of each other and starting things on fire. For some reason at this point I realized that I was wearing nothing but a towel. A very large towel. All of a sudden I was standing with two of my sisters and we ran out of there. Then I said I had to find my bag that had my clothes in it as I had nothing on but my towel. I went searching for my bag and I leave the room and the I find myself in a place that resembles a crowded school hallway except they are all adults so it was probably a college and go into a guys locker room. I keep booting it through the locker room and encounter a shower room. For some reason all the showers are going and are very large showers so that they cover the whole room. I run through and come out the other end with a very wet soggy towel. I'm still looking for my bag and just when I find it .... I wake up and wonder why there would be a riot at a small Celine Dion concert. Also why I had a towel instead of being out right naked.