The true meaning of cunt.

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Letter to my former roommate.

Dear Roommate,

I really moved because I couldn't stand to look at your lying, trashy face anymore.  I hope we never meet again.  You will get what you deserve in the end.  I know you still believe I don't know the trash you said about me.  I figured losing my friendship was the price you should pay.  As well a little advice for you.  You shouldn't whine on facebook that you hate Red Deer because you haven't any friends.  Maybe you would have a friend or two if you hadn't treated us both like crap.  Even your husband goes around saying he hoped you would just die.  It must suck to be a bitter bitch who has alienated everyone from her life.  I hope you wake up someday and realize you need to treat people with respect and stop backstabbing people or you just might wake up old and alone.  I'm not going to be the one to help you.

Sincerly,
Me

Best Nicknames for online dating ever....

I get a kick out of reading people's online dating profiles... and there are some strange ones out there. I thought I would think of the most bizarre names ever and see if someone actually used it. So far I've found:

• Manmeat
• Tacoeater
• Fudgepacker
• Cuntflaps
• Cameltoeinspector, cameltoelicker, cameltoelicer, cameltoesukka, cameltoerider
• Goldenshowers
• Rapemeplease, Rapeyamum
• Childrensencyclopedia, Childleftbehine
• Cockblocker
• Dirty_sanchez
• Analinstruction, analintrusion, analassasin, analanalbobanal
• Periodblood
• Twatface, Twatonabrick, Twathead, Twateater
• Pornstarwanted, Pornstarintraining
• TrojanXL, Trojanarmy, Trojanwarhorse
• Sexmeupnow, Sexmeupandgoaway, sexmehard, sexmehorny
• Deepthroatchamp, Deepthroatqueen, Deepthroatme
• Rideacowboy
• Fishpop, Fisheater, Fishhead, Fishstickphilosopher, Fisherspit
• Cavityfiller
• Drillyouup, Drillingbeaver
• Beavereater, Beaverstretcher, Beavercleaver, Beaverpleaser

Obviously I have way too much time on my hands!

I wish I could say anything I want on Facebook

I hate the fact that I have to censor my status updates on Facebook. Sometimes I just want to write that I am sick of certain douche bags but I can't... because they are on my friends list. I could block them from seeing it but then what is the point of doing an update if nobody can read it...
So here I am to blog about all the things I wanted to say... but couldn't because of someone on my friends list.
I had the best time on my vacation smoking pot and drinking my face off. Censored for my boss. :P
I screwed around with this friend which I regret because I'm chasing after someone else. Censored for both.
I am in love/lust with C and want to take him home. Censored so I don't scare him off.
My sister is a stupid whore who got knocked up at 18. I want to kill her douche bag of an irresponsible boyfriend. Censored for my family.

One day I'll just let it all hang out but I'm good with blogging anonymously for now.

Babies

Ever since New Year's Ever all I can think about is babies... and how I want a baby. The last year...and frankly the last decade has shown me that I can't get a man to give me a baby within the boundaries of a loving full time relationship or marriage. I want a baby and that is that. I am seriously looking to be a single mom. Not by accident...on purpose. I can't really find any downfalls to this. I know it will be hard work to be a single mom... but I want a baby. Should I wait or just go for it and find a sperm donor and get the baby or should I wait another 5 - 10 years to find the right guy? My biological clock is ticking and it is saying that now is the time... not later... not next year.... but now.
Should I go with my instinct or wait... for that guy who doesn't seem to be coming? Or wait for this feeling to pass?

Cyberstalking and dating

I've pretty much cyberstalked everyone I've dated at some point. Why? Its fun... its not like real stalking where you can arrested...it seems like harmless fun. Or is it? I've broken up with two guys because I've caught them logging onto "date sites" while we were dating. I took this to mean they just weren't into me. Is this the right thing to do?

third date down... fuck this shit

I decided to get the third one out of the way. The date itself actually went well... interesting guy etc... we got along well. So then two weeks later he goes MIA. I only text messaged him once to see what was up. Then I decided to send him one message on the site and he deleted his profile like one hour after I sent the message. Apparently I'm a psycho stalker who needs to get blocked or causes people to completely delete their profiles. Wtf?? I think with the first on,(who I had no intention of contacting) I'm thinking he is the love and leave them type. I'm trying to figure out the second one but why would you delete a profile as opposed to blocking someone. Maybe I drove him to say "Fuck this shit! I'm done with internet dating".
Its the messages I get on their on a daily basis that I find amusing. Or reading peoples profiles and the forums where people relate their experiences. They are so funny. One lady said that she didn't want to sleep with a guy because she had genital herpes. She didn't tell him why and then they rented a hotel room so they could get drunk and she wakes up next to two empty condom packages. Wow.... didn't see that one coming. Alcohol... hotel room... I'm thinking that isn't something you do if you don't want to get laid. Meet in a public place where there is no alcohol present.
I had a Nigerian looking fellow message me repeatedly. His profile said he almost made it to the NHL and was a doctor. He put his description as Caucasian with black hair. He is as white as Barack Obama.
And then there is the guys who want girls who are built for speed and then say they want a long term relationship. That cracked me up for a good half an hour. Long term as in as long as you don't get fat and I still enjoy fucking you.
I hate the 38 year old men that say they are undecided about children. If you don't know by that age there is no hope for you buddy. That is either a sign you are indecisive or immature.
Anyway just for fun... I suggest you go troll the site plentyoffish just to read some of the ridiculous stories and profiles... for fun. I get a good laugh out of it now and again.