Having fun at first aid

Ever taken a course and ended up being one of those people? We had an uneven number of people to do the abdominal thrusts (or the Heimlich maneuver) so myself and the two girls I was with did a threesome for it. The instructor and everyone laughed and she said it was the best threesome she had ever seen. We held the pose for a few minutes after that even.
When we went to do baby cpr there was no plastic face shield over the plastic babies mouth. We were in the front row and we all look at each other like - do they actually expect us to put our mouths on this thing? So we were faking the breathing into the doll and the instructor is looking at us like we are sooo weird. You could tell she wanted to say something to us. My friend grabbed a napkin and placed it over the dolls mouth and was trying to breath through it. I don't know if this doll has been washed! When the instructor went to the side I said I hope they wash these things between uses because whoever gets it next is going to get my sickness. I didn't whisper so she probably heard me.
The second day there was an even amount of people and of course I got stuck with the creepy unwashed guy. The kind you know hasn't been laid recently and probably still lives at his mothers house. Some one who knew him even said that he was that guy after we left. Part of the procedure when you find a casualty (you aren't supposed to call them a victim anymore - new first aid procedures) is to do a deadly bleeds check - the instructor wouldn't let me fake it either. I think I gave him the best feel up he's gotten for awhile. Of course I had to say this isn't awkward or anything.... are you ticklish? Yeah - I went there. And the classic oh am I being to rough with you as I tied him up really extra tight with bandages around his thighs which is dangerously close to his crotch and I'm leaning over towards it... and that was on purpose - my being extra rough. Of course he's like no... do whatever you want. That's when I knew he was liking it a little too much and I should shut my mouth occasionally. And of course I had to wear that shirt that looks matronly when you wear it but when you bend over something .... hello cleavage. And I have cleavage ... G sized cleavage.

Sorry Old post again

I actually accomplished one of my New Years resolutions.

I actually made a New Year's resolution and got it out of the way in record time. I am amazed. I said I would get a date and I did - within 11 days of the New Year. It didn't go well of course - the guy was crazy - or if not crazy very bitter at the world and in need of some major healing. For our one and only date he wanted to drive around and look at houses. He told me he was looking for an acreage or something over $500,000. What a fucking turn off. If I wanted a sugar daddy I would already have on o.k.? Then he told me about all the toys he had bought himself. Quads, boats, horses etc... He also told me he was moving to my area so he could get away from his ex wife. Uh oh.... that isn't promising at all. He went on and on about he was tired of being screwed and burnt and should just stop trusting people. I'm sorry do I look like the kind of person who wants to deal with that shit? I have enough of my own problems thank you very much. He then said none of his girlfriends worked... he wanted them to take care of all his personal business and when they whined it was too much work he put them on a wage and they became unemployed. Wonder why nothing has worked out.... Then he said he that girls didn't understand he had to work a lot and never be around so in other words he doesn't want some one needy or someone who needs attention. So why do I want you again? Oh right - obviously he is looking to be an absent sugar daddy.
At the end he told me that he figured me out and I was looking for a friend with benefits. Someone who I could cuddle with but then live my own separate life with my other guy or girl friends. He didn't like the fact I had guy friends... whatever. He then said we had a lot in common and call me if I wanted. I laughed all the way home because he didn't like one single thing I did... reading, guitar hero, tennis, movies, music...etc and I could go on forever but I won't.

Lolcatz inspiration

This cat was not posed... my former roommates cat. He was the baby of the family!

Now this is love....

I think my blog is getting a little adult...they posed for these pictures knowing they would go on the internet.
Mind you they were a little..... or a lot drunk at the time.

Drunken stumbling into other people's beds

No... it wasn't me. The guy I referred to last time - my sister's ex husband was visiting again and of course they got drunk out of their minds again. He got up around 1:00 am and after going to the washroom stumbled into my bed with his pants around his legs. He head butted the side of the bed before he clung onto the edge of it. I was like what the fuck are you doing. He didn't respond to my yelling at him so I grabbed my pillow and headed to the couch. I was pissed at first because I got displaced out of my bed and was thinking of how to get him out of there. So I turned on the light and the t.v. No response from him so I'm like this guy is out of it. So I grabbed a marker and poked his head and face. Then I'm like I should draw on his head. I didn't draw anything vulgar - just a big smiley face and the word "Hi". My sister told me I should have drawn a penis. I went back to my couch and my sister got up and I was like look what found it's way into my room. She's like oh have fun with that. I'm like got a camera - she said no. I knew where her digital camera was so I grabbed it and photographed him with his pants down passed out on my bed. Had an opportunity to do something really compromising and didn't go with it. All I did was throw him a bag of frozen vegetables to cuddle with. I wanted to embarrass him so I decided it would be best to wait until he was sober to do that. I woke up at 7 a.m. and went on my computer in my room too wait for him to wake up and he woke up within a few minutes and started going "where am I? How did I get in here?" I started laughing and told him he drunken stumbled in here. His pants were still partially down. He then freaked out for the next half hour because he was embarrassed so badly and I kept laughing at him. He kept saying over and over again what the hell was he thinking and why would he do that of all things. I told him he was lucky he didn't crawl in with my sister and her boyfriend because they both sleep naked. He's like I'm so glad you are amused (sarcastic tone of course). Then my sister comes out and laughs at him too and yeah... it was his birthday too so I think he will remember this for a long time. 2 years from now I'll just say remember your 32 birthday and I have no doubt he will because apparently it's a first for him. I told him he could of done worse - he could have gotten completely naked, or had to buy me new sheets or tell me ooohhh.... that was your teddy bear I defiled?

Am I the only one who gets all the creeps?

So I had the most disturbing thing happen to me ever! My sister's ex-husband was visiting my other sisters boyfriend and decided that he would pursue me. I seriously hope that I am not being over reactive in that I think that is horrifyingly disgusting. I mean the rules say you aren't supposed to date a friends ex boyfriend but a sisters ex husband - I would think that is way off limits and my sister would have the right to shoot me on sight. She hates the man and doesn't talk to him do you really think she would talk to me if I shacked up with him? The mere though of it makes me want to throw up. He wasn't even subtle about it. He asked me out and then got my sisters boyfriend in on the game and they discussed in depth the fact that I should go out with him. Oh so horrible. He asked me multiple times and I basically let him know that I may be single but I know how to pleasure myself and if I really wanted a boy toy there are a few I could call up for a lay. He asked me if I was really happy single - he couldn't believe it because he isn't happy. I assured him I was very happy and not going to fall in the arms of someone just because they were convenient especially not ex husbands. Fuck that. I told my sister Sandy (his ex wife) about it and she said well he always did brag that he could get anyone of us he wanted. He had apparently said this to her current boyfriend - lol. She then thanked me for "schooling" him on that fact.