These things happen

Why is it that I only have life altering moments or come to certain realizations when I'm drunk? I'm thinking that it is a problem when my therapist is a two six of vodka. It certainly helped me get over the guy I've fooled myself into believing I was in love with and realized,when I was completely drunk, that there is no possible way he will ever feel the same way about me. I also realized I can't pretend to be something I am not to get what I want. I've never acted like myself around him... or people in general. People tend to think I'm weird. I ended up smoking on a doorstep with some random stranger I did not know but he ended up being something like a mirror to me. He had the same type of childhood I did which is a rarity in itself. Seriously how many ex- Jehovah's witnesses who grew up with crazy parents and as white trailer trash are running around Alberta... even Canada? Other than my sisters he is the first. It was group drunken therapy... but it worked. It's not worth it to be fake... it takes too much energy and too much therapy. Especially when you realize there is nothing you can possibly do to get what you want. I just need to give it up and let go of everything that makes me unhappy and I won't need that therapy anymore. Or an intervention for alcohol abuse.