Sunday, December 14, 2008
Cyberstalking and dating
Saturday, December 13, 2008
third date down... fuck this shit
Its the messages I get on their on a daily basis that I find amusing. Or reading peoples profiles and the forums where people relate their experiences. They are so funny. One lady said that she didn't want to sleep with a guy because she had genital herpes. She didn't tell him why and then they rented a hotel room so they could get drunk and she wakes up next to two empty condom packages. Wow.... didn't see that one coming. Alcohol... hotel room... I'm thinking that isn't something you do if you don't want to get laid. Meet in a public place where there is no alcohol present.
I had a Nigerian looking fellow message me repeatedly. His profile said he almost made it to the NHL and was a doctor. He put his description as Caucasian with black hair. He is as white as Barack Obama.
And then there is the guys who want girls who are built for speed and then say they want a long term relationship. That cracked me up for a good half an hour. Long term as in as long as you don't get fat and I still enjoy fucking you.
I hate the 38 year old men that say they are undecided about children. If you don't know by that age there is no hope for you buddy. That is either a sign you are indecisive or immature.
Anyway just for fun... I suggest you go troll the site plentyoffish just to read some of the ridiculous stories and profiles... for fun. I get a good laugh out of it now and again.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I should know better... but I don't
Monday, November 17, 2008
inspiration
Saturday, September 20, 2008
How to count to five.
I didn't ask to be the boss.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
These things happen
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Having fun at first aid
When we went to do baby cpr there was no plastic face shield over the plastic babies mouth. We were in the front row and we all look at each other like - do they actually expect us to put our mouths on this thing? So we were faking the breathing into the doll and the instructor is looking at us like we are sooo weird. You could tell she wanted to say something to us. My friend grabbed a napkin and placed it over the dolls mouth and was trying to breath through it. I don't know if this doll has been washed! When the instructor went to the side I said I hope they wash these things between uses because whoever gets it next is going to get my sickness. I didn't whisper so she probably heard me.
The second day there was an even amount of people and of course I got stuck with the creepy unwashed guy. The kind you know hasn't been laid recently and probably still lives at his mothers house. Some one who knew him even said that he was that guy after we left. Part of the procedure when you find a casualty (you aren't supposed to call them a victim anymore - new first aid procedures) is to do a deadly bleeds check - the instructor wouldn't let me fake it either. I think I gave him the best feel up he's gotten for awhile. Of course I had to say this isn't awkward or anything.... are you ticklish? Yeah - I went there. And the classic oh am I being to rough with you as I tied him up really extra tight with bandages around his thighs which is dangerously close to his crotch and I'm leaning over towards it... and that was on purpose - my being extra rough. Of course he's like no... do whatever you want. That's when I knew he was liking it a little too much and I should shut my mouth occasionally. And of course I had to wear that shirt that looks matronly when you wear it but when you bend over something .... hello cleavage. And I have cleavage ... G sized cleavage.
Sorry Old post again
I actually accomplished one of my New Years resolutions.
I actually made a New Year's resolution and got it out of the way in record time. I am amazed. I said I would get a date and I did - within 11 days of the New Year. It didn't go well of course - the guy was crazy - or if not crazy very bitter at the world and in need of some major healing. For our one and only date he wanted to drive around and look at houses. He told me he was looking for an acreage or something over $500,000. What a fucking turn off. If I wanted a sugar daddy I would already have on o.k.? Then he told me about all the toys he had bought himself. Quads, boats, horses etc... He also told me he was moving to my area so he could get away from his ex wife. Uh oh.... that isn't promising at all. He went on and on about he was tired of being screwed and burnt and should just stop trusting people. I'm sorry do I look like the kind of person who wants to deal with that shit? I have enough of my own problems thank you very much. He then said none of his girlfriends worked... he wanted them to take care of all his personal business and when they whined it was too much work he put them on a wage and they became unemployed. Wonder why nothing has worked out.... Then he said he that girls didn't understand he had to work a lot and never be around so in other words he doesn't want some one needy or someone who needs attention. So why do I want you again? Oh right - obviously he is looking to be an absent sugar daddy.At the end he told me that he figured me out and I was looking for a friend with benefits. Someone who I could cuddle with but then live my own separate life with my other guy or girl friends. He didn't like the fact I had guy friends... whatever. He then said we had a lot in common and call me if I wanted. I laughed all the way home because he didn't like one single thing I did... reading, guitar hero, tennis, movies, music...etc and I could go on forever but I won't.
Now this is love....
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Drunken stumbling into other people's beds

No... it wasn't me. The guy I referred to last time - my sister's ex husband was visiting again and of course they got drunk out of their minds again. He got up around 1:00 am and after going to the washroom stumbled into my bed with his pants around his legs. He head butted the side of the bed before he clung onto the edge of it. I was like what the fuck are you doing. He didn't respond to my yelling at him so I grabbed my pillow and headed to the couch. I was pissed at first because I got displaced out of my bed and was thinking of how to get him out of there. So I turned on the light and the t.v. No response from him so I'm like this guy is out of it. So I grabbed a marker and poked his head and face. Then I'm like I should draw on his head. I didn't draw anything vulgar - just a big smiley face and the word "Hi". My sister told me I should have drawn a penis. I went back to my couch and my sister got up and I was like look what found it's way into my room. She's like oh have fun with that. I'm like got a camera - she said no. I knew where her digital camera was so I grabbed it and photographed him with his pants down passed out on my bed. Had an opportunity to do something really compromising and didn't go with it. All I did was throw him a bag of frozen vegetables to cuddle with. I wanted to embarrass him so I decided it would be best to wait until he was sober to do that. I woke up at 7 a.m. and went on my computer in my room too wait for him to wake up and he woke up within a few minutes and started going "where am I? How did I get in here?" I started laughing and told him he drunken stumbled in here. His pants were still partially down. He then freaked out for the next half hour because he was embarrassed so badly and I kept laughing at him. He kept saying over and over again what the hell was he thinking and why would he do that of all things. I told him he was lucky he didn't crawl in with my sister and her boyfriend because they both sleep naked. He's like I'm so glad you are amused (sarcastic tone of course). Then my sister comes out and laughs at him too and yeah... it was his birthday too so I think he will remember this for a long time. 2 years from now I'll just say remember your 32 birthday and I have no doubt he will because apparently it's a first for him. I told him he could of done worse - he could have gotten completely naked, or had to buy me new sheets or tell me ooohhh.... that was your teddy bear I defiled?
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Am I the only one who gets all the creeps?
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Weird Dream
Friday, March 28, 2008
100 Things Before You Die
1. Learn to play guitar.
2. Beat expert level on guitar hero.
3. Travel to Mexico.
4. Travel to Australia.
5. Have a baby.
6. Get a university degree.
7. Buy a house.
8. Own a business.
9. Learn how to change my own oil, tires and charge a battery.
10. Learn to enjoy a clean house.
11. Get a tattoo that I will enjoy for the rest of my life.
12. Do my own taxes. I learned how to do my own taxes in college but I have never done them without the help and support of H & R Block. Never.
13. Learn to forgive people. Once I hate you... I hate you for life.
14. Own something white without destroying it in the first week.
15. Ask a guy out.
16. Dye my hair pink.
17. Stop avoiding loving people just because I might get hurt.
18. Accept my body which includes a flat butt and very large boobs.
19. Be Delicious.... that's my perfume but I thinks its a great concept.
20. Become a volunteer of some sort.
21. Start going to church of some kind.
22. Read War and Peace
23. Eat fish eggs - I mean caviar.
24. Fall in love.... not lust.
25. Get over my fear of spiders.
I wrote my original list 7 years ago in college and only 2 of these things appear on it. Travel to Mexico and travel to Australia. I guess we grow and learn and change and do some of the things that appeared on the list 7 years ago. I didn't really do any of the stuff but my ambitions have changed.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Great Green Grasshopper
So all my thoughts turned to you and the Great Green Grasshopper
Do you remember when we met
It was a cloudy July day
We talked about cars and books
We went down to the river and found the Great Green Grasshopper
He told us what he knew about life and various things
Never burn plastic - the smell makes you nauseous
Always apologize when you make mistakes
Tell people you love them
After awhile we left
You said you wold phone sometime
So whenever I think of you and where you got to I just go see the Great Green Grasshopper
and think of that day long ago when I realized I would be alright without you
The mind of a stalker
I would hang around when I'm not wanted
It's alright because I love you
I would eavesdrop to hear what you say
It's alright because I love you
I would plan my schedule just to see you
I would hang out places where you would be
Just to see your face
It's alright because I love you
I would take up your hobbies - watch the same shows just to have common ground
You love green? So do I... now anyways
It doesn't make me look that hot - blue is really my thing
But it's alright because I love you
I would hang around even after you got a girl
Hoping You will see what a tramp she is
Tell you she's not good enough
Hope you realize soon what a wonderful person I am
I confess I love you
You don't feel the same
It's alright because I love you
The only place I can have you is through death
It's alright because I love you
Friday, February 29, 2008
untitled
I have nothing to hide behind - I am naked before you
You now know me in the deepest way possible
You know everything - this is not what I wanted
I did not want to share this much with you - to give so much of myself
I did not want to love you so deeply - to feel so much
I tried so hard to hide my very being from you
I showed you what I was not
You tore way at my facade until there was nothing left
I wanted to hide from you all my deepest feelings, my secrets, my desires,
my wishes, my fears and my heart
You made me give it all away
I cannot hide anymore
I feel so vulnerable because now you can see just how to hurt me
old blogs from my space
Stupid People
Stupid people drive me crazy. I'm not the smartest person in the world by any means but some people are just plain dumb.
I work in the fast food industry (hence forth the not so bright part) and I absolutely hate and love stupid people who come through drive through.
My all time favourite stupid people are those who order their food...pay for it and drive off with out it. I go to hand out the bag and they are whizzing on by without a thought in their pretty little heads. Some how in the 10 feet from the payment window to the pick up window they have forgotten where they are and what exactly they are doing in a fast food drive thru. They usually come back inside to the till red faced and say I was just through drive thru - and before they get another word in - being the extreme professional that I am I say don't worry we've been waiting for you and give them their food. Then they come up with some excuse like it's been a long hard day. I usually just smile and say nothing else because they know I've already made fun of them and will continue to do so after they are gone.
I hate people who don't know how to order. I usually screw them over if they are really stupid. Most people should know what a meal or a combo is right? You get a burger, fry and drink. If you don't know it's explained on the menu board. Fast food prices are always set up so a combo is cheaper then ordering all the items separately. People will come through and order a burger. I ask them if it's a combo. They say no and then proceed to order a fry and a drink. If it's not to late to change it I will...if it is to late they pay anywhere from one to two dollars extra for ordering everything separately per combo because we have limits on how much we can delete and change on our tills before higher management gets upset (they keep track of that stuff). I've had people order up to six combos seperately and because they have already insisted they don't want or need a combo I've cheated them out of like ten dollars all for their stupidity. I've had people literally insist that I can't give them a combo when they've obviously ordered one and it's cheaper. They say "no I know what a combo is and I don't want one". Is there a conspiracy theory about getting combos? You don't want me to give you the better price???? I've even tried punching in the combo to give them the better price and they say to take it off because they don't want the combo. Hello! earth to stupid one!!! And don't dare try to tell them they've ordered a combo because then you are just pissing them off.
I hate people who don't know what they want to drink. I ask "what would you like to drink?" Long pause... I ask "a coke?" They go "ummm...no.." long pause. "Okay I'll take a coke?" Is it really that hard to decide? Or even better are the people who have to think really long and hard about whether they want ketchup or not? Either you like it or you don't.
I hate people who try to order through a small crack in their window when it's cold. Seriously your voice does not carry through that small crack unless you yell really loud.
I hate passengers who try to order. There should be a class about how to order in drive thru. Remember you are speaking into a microphone and last time I checked microphones only pick up when you speak at it and not the voice of someone five feet away. I also love the people who lean over the driver to order. Is it really that hard to give your order to the driver and have them speak???? sorry I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
I hate people who have to read the entire menu board for five minutes before they order. Can't you see the line up behind you?? If you don't know what you want come inside please. I then get a whole bunch of customers inside who wanted to go through drive thru who are bitching about the lady (this could be a man as well) who is still reading the menu board.
I could go on about this forever but I won't anymore at least for today.
Did you realize?
When I told you that I love you and would forever that I would always be with you no matter what happened did you realize that every word I said was a lie?
We could not be together because of how I am and what you are?
Did you realize that I could never live with a person like you?
Why did you believe when I told you forever?
Why did you hang on when there was no hope?
Did you think a few precious moments were better than nothing at all?
Why did you stay when you realized that you wold have your heart trampled on?
That I would break you?
Was it worth it?
Dream worlds
Time to run away again - leave everything behind
All the hurt and hate
I slide into worlds that I can make my own
Worlds that I control - the rules are all mine
I always get what I want
My teeth aren't so crooked
If something doesn't go quite right I can replay it until it does
Maybe I should wake up
Do something real
But it feels too good
Last night I became famous
That was just a dream - or was it?
I don't know what's real anymore
I don't know how to get back
Or maybe I don't want to come back